What is the most common phrase you speak to yourself?
For me it's probably: I want to live with authenticity and passion.
We can also have negative common phrases, or incantations we tell ourselves.
One of mine is: I will never be successful. I am not good at being truly affectionate and vulnerable.
The problem, or the benefit, with incantations is that we actually hypnotize ourselves.
Positive or negative incantations have real life implications. It changes how we act, how we view ourselves, how we view other people, etc.
The biggest impact you can have on your life is to change your incantations to encouraging, positive words and phrases. It's been proven that people are more likely to succeed in life if their self-talk is encouraging.
If you are suffering from self-confidence issues remind yourself of how strong you are. Make a list of the things you've done in your life that required great inner strength.
If you are suffering from feeling inferior in relationships with others remind yourself of the ways you care about others. Make a list of the things you have given to friendships in the past and present. Add in things that you desire to give in relationships and that you know have within but haven't given out yet.
If you are suffering from feeling critical and angry remind yourself of how compassionate and caring you really are. Sometimes the hyper-critical people are the most compassionate of all, they just don't know how to let go and be themselves. Write your true compassionate and caring desires down. Get specific with it as it applies to your life and relationships. This one is really true for me because I have suffered from a very critical world view and yet I feel like at my core I am exceptionally compassionate.
We're taking the things we want to change, or the things we think we're bad and we're looking at the positives. If we think we can't do anything right then we're going to start speaking that incantation to ourself and then it will come true in our life. Instead we need to focus on our positive qualities, the things we have accomplished, the people we've given our love to and so on. This reframes how we view ourselves.
If we want to help and contribute to others then we need to see the positives in ourselves. This is what creates good interpersonal relationships. We all want other people to feel good about themselves but then we don't practice the same kindness for ourselves? What kind of double standard is that?
I'll go ahead and practice what I am preaching. Here is my list.
These are my CORE STRENGTHS.
Get a piece of paper out and do this now! We're so uncomfortable with saying what we're good at. I think we can sometimes see it as arrogant. This is unfortunate because self-confidence in a healthy way is so beneficial to us and everyone we love. Lift yourself up.
I am compassionate
I am a deep thinker
I am always trying to improve and grow
I try new things
I have a strong spirit
I desire to be encouraging and giving in my friendships
I am open to others point of view
I care about people
I love giving people gifts
I am a great poet who can communicate my deep thoughts with written words
I am intuitive and can sense people's feelings and emotions
You can keep writing as long as you think of things. I would re-read this or add to it at the beginning of every new day. Speak these things out loud, write them on a poster, put it where you can see it. Whatever works for you!
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Bailey Patrice & Jonathan David